thelondonrendezvous: lifestyle

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Passion is a word thrown around a lot. Turn on prime time television, The Apprentice is on, listen to the lyrics on a commercial radio station. From entrepreneurial businessmen, to Macklemore, even the person you served at work this afternoon, everyone has used the phrase in conversation.

As someone who admittedly finds it altogether a bit distressing starting conversation, or even continuing conversation, I question, how different it would be to greet people with what we felt most passionate about? Instead of the ‘networking’ yuppies of Wimbledon are familiar with... "Good evening, I am Colin, marketing exceutive for XYZ”. What if Colin introduced himself by telling you less about the company he works for, but about why he finds his favourite song so relatable and the nostalgia he attaches to it? What about if the lecturer teaching, who reads from his powerpoint, described the joy he felt when he first met his wife? How about the girl in your weekly seminar, who dresses differently explained why she finds the fashion industry, the use of textiles and patterns so liberating? Introduction by passion seems human, defining someone and ourselves by our salaries, our education and our appearance does not.

I’ve watched friends start sixth form groups, then go on to be leaders of their thousand strong university societies. I’ve seen family members arrive in countries with no more than a few pounds build homes for their families. I’ve known people speak up and step out of their comfort zones in order to address what they believe morally wrong. None of which I would have acknowledged if it weren’t for understanding the passion these people felt whilst striving for their end goals. I’ve realised, recently, I am passionate about other peoples passion. There is a warmth and intensity I am intrigued by when someone talks about a subject they love. The eagerness and enthusiasm emitted is a sign of trust and kindness. When people are willing to identify to you what makes them passionate, they want you to feel the same happiness they felt, they want you to experience all they’re experiencing, share the sentiment they speak of.

So, tell me now when was the last time you asked someone what they were passionate about?

A tribute to my family who have seen my grow, my teachers who recognised my potential, my friends who have coped with my sensibility & anyone who still has to endure my initial silence and sudden warming to them over time.

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, by Unknown

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The Construction of Masculinity

Annually there are two distinct peaks at which our motivation to change our external selves is heightened; the first commencing at the beginning of each new year and the second in the run up to summer. As it May now, it is not surprising to see the amount of body image articles escalating as the weather warms up. Whilst the conversation of female self image is somewhat exhausted*, we have barely scratched the surface regarding self representation and male culture.

Masculinity refers to the characteristics traditionally associated with men. These include strength, toughness and power. However, why are such qualities still culturally and socially reinforced? Whilst we have evolved over time, both physically and intellectually, the stigma attached to the male gender role differs very little to that expressed in the Viking Age. Men's body types (like women's) have changed over time. Man is nowhere near as muscular as he was during the viking era, and yet overtly muscular physiques are all that are exhibited by the media when targeting male audiences. An endless array of advertisements for aftershave highlight this best, one of the most famous being Dolce & Gabbana's Light Blue advert. These adverts are not alone in profiting from their audiences attempts to aspire for the unobtainable. Abercrombie and Fitch's campaigns are renowned for their male models and cult 'V shaped' body, so much so that they have a male model stand at the door of their London flagship store in order to lure customers in. Whilst most of us would consider this a ploy to attract female customers, it is equally as productive for gaining male customers who aspire (either consciously or subconsciously) to meet this unrealistic concept of 'masculinity'. In fewer words, sex sells.

Whilst some advertisers, such as the retail sector are restrained and have to take a more conservative approach regarding erotic imagery, the pornography industry and culture surrounding it have free rein & blur the image of the average man. It shouldn't come as a surprise then that mens anxiety regarding body dissatisfaction is on the rise (80.7% of men have talked about their own or another man's appearance, drawing attention to weight). What is more is the stigma attached to the old age taboo subject of 'average penis size' is heightened by modern society, particularly within adult movies. Most actors average 10 inches, nowhere near the national average, it is therefore no wonder these influences can affect mens perceptions of themselves & can even become emotionally destructive. This 'bigger is better' mentality puts more pressure on men than any woman, like myself, can imagine. Men's insecurities, just like women's are seized by health and cosmetic industries for economic gain. With the media as our drug baron, the nutrition industry, male grooming industry and drug industry all profit from mans pressure of needing to conform.

There is very little evidence concerning male body image reports as less money is put into such research, however what is for certain is that male eating disorders are on the rise. When we refer to eating disorders the first things that usually springs to mind are Anorexia and Bulimia. Although these illnesses still affect men, the most common of such eating disorders is the lesser known Body Dismorphic Disorder (BDD). BDD is the idea that man see's his exterior differently to how others view him. For example men may find themselves lifting weights twice a day and to everyone else appear overtly muscular, however to himself he appears thin and weak. It is true the majority of men will not have to go through the struggles faced with BDD, however, it is likely most men have experiences it's symptoms to a lesser degree. A compulsive desire to exercise, putting it before activities such as visiting family or going out with friends can be a starting point for obsessing over body image. Likewise, spending hours on end focussing on healthy eating and opting for foods that only serve the purpose of bulking up muscle also triggers alarm bells with regards to self-imagery. Whilst exercise and healthy living is great and should always be encouraged, when man crosses the line between enjoying working out and eating well and it becomes an obsessive impulse, problems arise with confidence, perception, the desire for the unobtainable and potentially dangerous eating disorders.

Whilst I am not trying to emasculate man, I believe the concept of masculinity only appeals to a false gender binary, one that should be questioned with severity. Whilst the media focusses on toughness and defining men as brutish and strong, we as a society have to turn away from our stereotypical view of man before big industries do the same. It is a subject that is rarely talked about as men are taught from a young age to consider 'femininity' weak and 'masculine' as the dream. This concept has to change before anything else can. Instead of concentrating on masculinity as our first point of call for defining man, we should opt for admiring less physical attributes like manners, social skills, education and humility. Qualities that define man in more ways than just how he appears externally. Only then can we ditch the anachronistic concept of 'masculinity' and opt for an idea that is applicable to modern society and modern man.

References:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/zoe-williams-/the-rise-and-rise-of-the-_b_3580194.html

http://extenderresource.com/the-social-stigma-of-penis-size/

*Based on my experience it is a discussion I have had endless times. This does not in any way mean I believe the female body image discussion to be a losing battle or one we have come to a conclusion on, but just one that has had extensive amounts of publicity and attention.

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, by Unknown

Australia

Travel Diary, Melbourne Markets

As some of you may know I was on holiday in Australia last month and although the holiday was a bit brief I had an awesome time, one of the cool places I visited was the Queen Victoria Markets! They were pretty awesome to take a stroll round and every Thursday night they have live music which was nice to listen to whilst looking at all the stalls!

The summer is coming to an end in Australia and so the markets were pretty busy, there were thousands of people and it definitely added to the ambience of the whole evening! In the summer they also have heaps more food than usual so there was a whole row of stalls dedicated to food alone, which made it quite difficult to choose what to eat because everything looked so good, eventually we chose to have lemon and oregano infused chicken with some salad which I had never tried before, but was so delicious!

The great thing about the food was that they prepared it right in front of you, the smell was so mouth watering and definitely attracted more customers. Also the service was super speedy, especially considering how good the food was. In other markets I've been to, such as Camden or Portobello, they usually just dish up the food and you often question how long it has been sitting there whereas at the Queen Victoria Market as soon as you ordered they would place the chicken (or beef or lamb) on to the hot stove and cook it while you watched so you knew your food had not been waiting for ages before you ordered it! The stall we went to was named 'U Fuculari' (lol interesting name) and focussed on traditional Sicilian barbecued food! So tasty, but maybe not an ideal option for any veggies!

Next it was time to visit some stalls and potentially by some items to take home!

The candle holders below were so pretty, personally I don't often light tea candles alone (instead I use a tea candle and then put a yankee tart on top) but I had to take a picture of them as they were all individually painted and looked so beautiful when the candle was lit inside. I asked if they did any candle holders similar to the ones that hold yankee tarts on the top but unfortunately they didn't so I had to go without.

These skirts below were part of a hand made, vintage stall! All the skirts were so colourful and the prints on them were absolutely beautiful, my original thought was 'which one to choose' as I thumbed every single option. Eventually I found one with a white and blue china type print, it was beautiful so I decided to try it on. Sadly, being slightly taller than average (I'm 5ft 7) the skirt didn't fall in the right place, it was too long to be a mini skirt yet too short to be a midi skirt. I know some people can rock that look, however where it fell really didn't suit me so I didn't end up buying anything from the stall. Which was a major dissapointment!

We then stumbled upon this store, full of ornaments, dream catchers, wooden boxes... a lot of which was focussed on buddhism and hinduism and trinkets associated with both faiths. As I am interested in different beliefs, faiths etc I thought I would look around the stall... it was the busiest one we had come across all evening! I eventually bought a silver Ganesha ornament, as well as a white and blue dream catcher! As my room is being decorated I thought both would go perfectly with my white, silver and blue theme and therefore I quickly snapped them up!

I will post my two purchases from the market along with other bits and pieces I got from Australia in my next post which is going to be a haul! But for now, as the sun set the market had a change of atmosphere.

As it got darker the market became increasingly lively, with guys playing music on didgeridoos, guitars and incredibly, sticks on the floor it was a performance not to miss and the entire crowd seemed to embrace it with cheering and roaring at the end of every song. Not only did the upbeat music add to the communal feel of the markets but the outside seating area was also a nice place to chill on a warm summers night with one of the many smoothies or cocktails the markets have to offer!

Overall I had an awesome time at the Queen Victoria Market, there was so much going on everywhere you turned. Next time I go to Australia I am going to visit again, but maybe allocate myself a bit more time to looking at all the stalls, as I was unaware of how many there were when we first arrived! To anyone thinking of visiting the markets... don't be fooled by how small the venue looks on the outside, once you go in there are endless rows of stalls to visit and there is sure to be something there for everyone!

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, by Unknown

Australia

Travel Diary, City of Melbourne

Today we went into the city centre of Melbourne. My family live in Melbourne so I've been here before, however usually when we go on holiday here we are away for around three weeks and just sort of chill out... however, this time I only have ten days here so I am determined to pack everything I want to do here into a small amount of time, it's busy but so much fun!

First of all we went to the Eureka Tower. The tower is eighty eight floors high, you get a lift that takes you up there in thrity eight seconds and the views from the top are unreal. We bought the 'sun and stars' tickets which were great, this meant we could come back twice in a day and see the beautiful sights both during the day and at dusk. It was an awesome experience and we could see everything, including Flinders Street Station, Melbourne Cricket Grounds, AAMI Park, Yarra River and we also saw a bushfire on the horizon. We were unbelievably lucky at how clear the sky was.

Me at the Eureka Tower Skydeck!

Next my sister-in-law took me to the Lindt Cafe, everything there is exclusively made by lindt and with Lindt products. The architecture of the building was so surreal, all white with intrinsically detailed pillars and a balcony that went all the way around the top floor. I had a belgian waffle with white chocolate ice-cream and molten milk chocolate to pour over, it was so cute because the waffles were in heart shapes! My sis-in-law had a molten chocolate cake with strawberries and cream. It was such a cute little cafe, however the dishes were so rich and filling it is definitely not somewhere I would considering going to every day

After a mission to try and find a memory card, which surprisingly is very difficult in the middle of the city, we had lunch! Instead of eating in the city we decided to get a cab to Lygon Street, Carlton the Italian dining hub of Melbourne. We stopped at Borsari Ristorante and had our dinner here. I had whitebait for starters which was so good, followed by carbonara. I used to enjoy carbonara however I think I ate so much of it last year I find it difficult to stomach it now, nevertheless the whitebait and what little I ate of the carbonara was divine!

Our last stop was back to the Eureka Tower to check out the nighttime scenery it had to offer. The view from the top was beautiful and the lights looked so pretty. It took me a while to work out how to take pictures through the window without getting my reflection in the picture but eventually I worked it out and it was amazing to have such a great experience! There is even an outside area, that you can stand in , and although windy, I believed to be the best spot as it enabled me to get such good shots!

Today was incredible and I am so grateful I have the opportunity to be able to travel and be able to visit so many beautiful places as I will remember days like today for the rest of my life!